Many of my clients, single Hong Kong ladies, developed long distance relationship with foreign men. S., 35 y.o. told me: “I am so happy I’ve met Dave. Our relationship is great and I think soon I will be moving to the US”.
J. 40 y.o. , on the other hand, does not have the same luck. She started communiting with men but the long distance love affair does not turn into long distance relationship. Long distance love went from high to low. Lack of excitement and understanding; insecurity and lack of dating skills are killing possible long distance relationship.
So what makes one relationship work when another fizzles? Most psychologists agree that the extra mileage makes it challenging to build a lasting love. It’s hard to maintain long distance relationship and one of you starts to think when and how you’ll statrt to live together.
Read more on: Questions To Ask Before Relocating For New Love.
To make it work, you and your partner need to put in a lot of effort. So before entering a long-distance relationship, consider following issues:
#1: Can you “afford” the distance? If you have a flexible work schedule and deep bank account, visiting a partner in another country can be fun and pleasurable. But if you’re on a budget and have no time for vacation, flying off to see a loved one can become miserable. Don’t rely on credit cards and loans, in the end you will experience big disappointment and financial troubles if relationship does not work out.
#2: Missing romantic things can be another difficulty. The distance also means you can’t see each other to share happy moments. Little celebrations, good news at work, exiting events. It can also be tough, when you have a bad day and want a hug; but he is not there.
Read more on: How To Make Long-Distance Relationship Work?
#3: If you are insecure or jealouse person, long-distance love affair will make it even worse and you will break up soon. When you live in two different countires, you simply have to trust each other.
#4: Communication is everything. When you start out long-distance, it’s important to take the time and get to know each other better. You may like the guy a lot, but later find out that he is narcissistic and unreliable. The good thing about long-distance relationship is that you actually talk more to your partner than if he would live next to you. You talk every day, even if it’s just a short text – the conversation keeps going. Such regular communication and long-distance help you decide sooner if you want to be together or not.
#5: Honesty. When dating someone, you always wonder if he likes you as much as you like him. In long-distance dating people are normally open and honest. Nobody wants to waste time. So there is not as much ambiguity about feelings.
#6: Look at the future concretely. If you want to be successful in long-distance relationship, you should look at the future concretely. For example, you live in different countires. He has children in school while you a good job in Hong Kong. You need to decide who can relocate and if the marriage is needed.
#7: Sexuality. To keep long-distance relationship going, you need to call sexual excitement from your partner. So when you make a face-to-face calls, it’s time to play. Look hot and sexy, seduce him with your smile and bodyshape. Check books on body language, it may help.
True love is hard to find. So when you have strong feelings about someone, don’t rule out a relationship because of distance. I’ve seen many couples. Some long-distance relationship that didn’t work probably wouldn’t have worked even if people lived together—maybe they would stay together longer, but they would break up anyway. Remember, you both must understand the pros and cons of long-distance dating and put in the effort to keep happy long-distance relationhip.