We all know that those who do not learn past mistakes are likely to repeat them again, so why are second and third marriages tend to end up in divorce? The data shows that in the U.S. 50% of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages fail. What are the reasons behind increasing divorce rates?
1. You did not learn from the past mistakes
Divorced singles can be anxious and vulnerable as they don’t allow enough time to recover from their divorce before getting married again . Rather than concentrating on what really went wrong in their first marriage, they get married again blaming only their ex husbands or wives. They believe that the key to a happy marriage is just selecting the right partner. They never take a look at the role that they played in the failed marriage. They simply move ahead in their search for Mr. or Mrs. Right instead of working on their current relationship. Such individuals risk to repeat their mistakes, go through similar conflicts and end up with another broken marriage.
2. Self-sufficiency and insecurity
During recent years, the incidence of divorce in first marriages boomed significantly due to the financial and domestic independency of men and women. Women make as much money as men; and men can take care of the house easily without a wife. As these traditional male/female roles break down, every gender becomes more self sufficient in every aspect of life. Divorced people suffer from insecurity and distrust after the fisr marriage, they tend to feel responsible for protecting themselves emotionally and financially even more, which negatively affects second and third marriage. In this case, both partners will feel that there is no trust and connection in the couple.
3. Children as a guarantee of the happy second and third marriage
The prime reason for the second and third divorce is that there is less connection in the family. In some marriages, children can be a cause of conflicts, but generally kids become a stabilizing element in marriages. When a family has no kids, the marriage is liable to minor disagreements that can turn into a disaster. Most of the children are born during the first marriage, so most of the second marriages have no common kids. If you have no kids it’s easier to leave when you are experiencing a hard time. Furthermore, because the couple does not have common children, the desire to keep the family is not strong enough. That is why the couples in second and third marriages are considered less ‘committed’ than the couples in first marriages.
However, the children from previous marriages can cause problems in second and third marriages. Couples experience jealousy and difficulties to adjust to spouse’s children. Undoubtedly fights occur, causing the consistent conflicts. Sometimes the children become a destabilizing element in a second or third marriage; especially if they get brainwashed by another parent. In some cases, relationships become more and more complicated and challenging with next marriages, as more children join the family. It’s an unfortunate truth that some parents will do their best to destroy a child’s relationship with the other parent and his/her new second half. There’s always a risk of conflict between the “targeted” parent and a child. “, says that it’s important to catch it early, because even a little drops of poison can have a devastating consequence. This book is an excellent source to help “targeted” parents to prevent a disaster and preserve happy relationship in the new family. If you want to avoid a parental alienation, educate yourself.