Why He Doesn’t Want To Commit?

Almost all my clients had this situation. Even though you were dating for 5 years and he were acting like your man, here still did not want to commit and get married. He may have even introduced you to his family!  His family might even like you, but you are not officially a couple.
You’ve been dating for years, he is taking you out every weekend, buying you expensive gifts, or you even live together,  if he has yet to say you are his bride, believe me he is NOT going to marry you.  He may feel like he is comitted, but he isn’t.  
So if he does all these nice things, why he does not want to commit to you?
Men give thousands of reasons to not to commit like bad timing, not ready, or bad past experience. Of course it could be a timing issue but most of the time it’s just an excuse. Why he cannot become your fiancé?!

He just wants to have fun. A girlfriend is not something he is looking for.  Sometimes men just want to see other women as well and keep his options open. If open relationship is not for you, justleave him. He is not going to change.

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YOU are not his dream partner.  He wants to get married, but not to you.  He likes you, he likes spending time and having sex with you….but not forever. Most probably you will date until he meets that RIGHT woman.

He is still deciding. He probably has someone else and he hasn’t decided yet which one of you is better.  In this case he may think you could his life partner, but he also has same feelings about the other woman.  He will eventually commit to someone. Let’s hope it’s you.

Doubts. He has some doubts about you. It means he really likes you, but there is something about you that he would like to change or see some growth in you before he can marry you. Listen to him and try to adapt, if you really want him to commit.

No need to commit. He knows he doesn’t have to commit to you because you anyway will not leave him.  You insist on exclusivity, but you keep dating or even living with the man who is not exclusive with you.  You threaten to leave, but you never do! He know you love him and won’t leave. So he is not afraid of loosing you.

More information on: Why you will never get married!

If you are madly in love with him, but he does commit to you, you must take control of the situation and tell him that you will not continue relationship without commitment. Tell him that you love him, but you want serious relationship that he cannot give you. Maybe  the experience of losing you, will bring him back or he will disappear forever. If he does disappear, don’t get upset. Don’t waste your time for someone who does not deserve you.

Don’t be the woman who was dating a guy for years and then he married some woman he only knew for 3 monthes!

Ask him why he does not want to have serious relationship with you.  Believe his answer and take decisions accordingly.   If he bring an excuse of timing issue, ask what the time frame will be.  Then decide if you want to wait or not.  The bad sign is when he doesn’t want to talk about it at all. So Just leave and don’t waste your time!

Feel free to write to me if you have any question about your situation.

More information on: How To Find A Single Man In Hong Kong? 

7 Comments on Why He Doesn’t Want To Commit?

  1. Hi Vicky, I have a problem. I am seening a man but he is already engaged with another girl. He is very kind, sweet and he helped me a lot. I fell for him like crazy. But he still cannot decide if he shoul leave that girl. They’ve been together for 8 years. Do you think new love can be stronger than old one? What can I do to win him?

  2. Hi Cici, there is almost no chance he will leave his girlfriend. You have to make sure if he had such affairs before? Does she know about the situation or it’s a secret?Don’t waste your time. There are plenty of good single guys out there. And I am sure you can find the one.

  3. Ana Belia // May 1, 2014 at 12:15 pm //

    Sounds like me. I have come to realize that if a man really wants you and cares about you, he will stop at nothing to make you his. A relationship like this will not go anywhere. Was hard for me to realize, but moving on is the best thing possible. Next thing you know, you meet the right guy without looking.

  4. Renee Johnson // May 1, 2014 at 12:25 pm //

    I’m having this exact problem. I know hes said he likes me in the past and while we have been together. We have been acting like a couple not that long but when I asked him what we are he said “just friends atm” … now I don’t know

  5. Mandy Petersen // May 1, 2014 at 12:39 pm //

    Men are pretty confusing. They move slowly in relationships for all different types of reasons.

  6. Vanisha Kedia // May 1, 2014 at 12:44 pm //

    Someone is a commitment phobe, or, he’s just not there yet. Commitment is a serious matter, and a joyful one. He who is not both joyfully and seriously committing is not ready to commit. But often even the people who won’t commit are not aware that they are not going to commit.

  7. Sini Aromaa // May 1, 2014 at 12:54 pm //

    Men won’t commit if women won’t submit.

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