Why We Want To Know Everything About His Ex-girlfriend?

I guess you all did this… It’s tempting to play a detective and look up all his ex-girlfriends on Facebook. You want to know what they look like, how they dress up and are they hotter than you. You think about them all the time, and compare yourself with them, you start googling them, trying to find more infromation on what they do and how they live. Well..you’re in a big trouble.  He is with you not with her/them, so what do you care about those women?
As a dating coach in Hong Kong, I hear a lot of stories how obsessed ideas of his exes and insecurity have runied happy relationship. 
My customer Lucy had this problem.  She googled her name, her FB profile, Linkedin page – every single detail. Lucy even made a fake FB profile and added her as a friend to see what pictures she is “hidding”. Every day she questioned her boyfriend about his ex, why they broke up, why he liked her, what she is like. She was hurting herself and her boyfriend. In the end he DID come back to his ex after 3 years they have not seen each other. Why? Because Lucy was reminding him about his ex and his feelings to her 24 hours per day! 

More information on: Why He Does Not Want To Commit?

Cici had a similar problem.  She is now in a happy relationship with her boyfriend, but she could ruin it at the very beginning. She came to me because every time her new boyfriend recieved a call for a woman or told her about his female friend, she got mad and wanted to know everything about this person. She would suspect him to have “something” with her/them. Cici kept asking him questions about the girl.  She was following his female friends on Facebook and see if they have pictures together or what they were saying to each other. This insecurity could ruin her new relationship. 

So why do we do this?  More information on: Why You Will Never Get Married?  

  • We are insecure
  • We don’t trust 
  • Fear of being not as good as her
  • Fear he still wants her
  • Fear he’ll go back to her

It’s never about him or other woman. It is all about you and your insecure relationship.  If you know he is loving and caring and he hasn’t done anything wrong, hire a therapist or a dating coach.  There is nothing wrong if you seek professional help.   More information on: How Shopping Can Help You To Find A Husband In Hong Kong? Of course sometimes men DO have feelings to their exes or even cheat, but not all of them! So use common sense in your relationship. Have you ever experienced such thing?  Comment below if so.

3 Comments on Why We Want To Know Everything About His Ex-girlfriend?

  1. Girls always try to spy on men. It’s their nature. There is nothing you can do.

  2. Rachel Ji // May 1, 2014 at 12:26 pm //

    That’s normal. You want to know what she looks like. You want to know if you are prettier, sexier, and have a better body. That’s very normal. But if you have googled, played detective, researched, and practically STALKED his exes, you need to take a look at yourself and why you do it.

  3. Jaya Sachdeva // May 1, 2014 at 12:48 pm //

    I have the same issue,my partner almost 8years that they have been divorced and we dating 10 months and expecting a little girl. but I can not stop obsessing about his ex and the beauty part is she owns her own company and I am so insecure about this its driving me nuts.he assures me daily that he has much better now but I dont know whether to belie

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